Lessons My Mother Taught Me

My mother was one of the smartest people I’ve ever know, and that’s saying something, because I know some pretty smart people (you know who you are) and I learned a lot from her. Some things I learned because she drilled them into mine and my sibling’s heads on a regular basis, some through observation, some through paying attention and a few I learned the hard way, by not taking her advice and doing things my way. It was sometimes tough having a mom who was always right, whether she actually was or not. I think of her often, but on Mothers’ Day I feel particularly motherless. There are many occasions when I look at my life and wish my mom was still here to offer advice, though there were countless times she was around to give it,  and I didn’t want anything to do with it. There are countless ways in which I am glad I’m different from her, and there are many ways I hope I can offer my daughter the wisdom, and the thirst for knowledge she gave me.

Here are a few of her mom-isms that still echo in my head, that have served me well, and which I pass on to you. They are in no order which is obvious to me, but perhaps you’ll divine some pattern here.

1. Always read the directions through before you start anything (this is especially true for recipes and Ikea furniture)
2. You can never have too many flowers
3. Read, as much as you can, about everything
4. Travel as much as you can, everywhere
5. When you’re looking at a house or apartment turn on all the faucets full blast and make sure the water pressure is OK
6. Get a tetanus shot every time you move to a new house (you’ll surely need one)
7. Never leave a mess in the kitchen when you go to bed (who wants to see that s*%t in the morning?)
8. Don’t stress about when your kid is potty trained or learns to read, she will be able to do both very well by the time she gets to High School
9. You are my child and I will love you and accept you as you are (as long as you stand up straight and get your hair out of your face)

My mom was far from perfect. She was quirky and could be mean and thoughtless. She was as generous as she was selfish, she was brilliant and infuriating, charming and embarrassing. She was real and flawed and I’m sure she taught me much more than I’m aware of. She made us a family, and she provided generously. The greatest lesson I learned was that it is not necessary to be a perfect mom, because you won’t be and chances are good you and your children will be flawed, quirky imperfect, perfect people. Happy Mothers’ Day.