Trick or Treat

Halloween is when I buy candy and hide it until it’s time to hand it out to children I have never seen before.  I don’t know that there is a good alternative for what passes as treats for Halloween.  Kids want candy, and they’re not interested in ‘healthy’ snacks.  The kids that trick or treat in my neighborhood are often shockingly grown up to be collecting candy.  They don’t seem to be parents standing back while their kids giggle and shyly announce themselves and then remind them to say ‘thank you’.  No these are 16-18 year-olds making the rounds and collecting free candy. They are welcome to it, as the more I give away the less I am tempted to eat, but I don’t think they’re looking for a little bag of Snyder’s organic pretzels…

This year I was surprised to hear that my eighth grade daughter is going trick or treating with her friends.  “Aren’t you a little old for that?” I asked. Apparently not.  I grew up in suburban Long Island.  I went to streets where I knew people, and they knew me.  There was the house that we were all afraid to go to, and dared each other to ring the bell (as in the movie “The Good Old Summertime” for those of you who love old movies).  Living in the city is quite different from that experience.  Even when my daughter was small and I was the parent standing behind her coaching her to speak out loud, we were at the houses of strangers.

Many people here put on costumes and pull out chairs to sit outside and wait for the kids to come by; some blocks have parties going on—those are the best, and many people turn out their lights and either go out, or pretend they have.  I missed Halloween last year— I was away, and so this will only be my second one in this house, in this neighborhood.  I have bought three bags of candy, and of course I had to taste them all, because I have never tried a Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin, or a Kit Kat, or not in a while anyway.  The real shocker was the third item; I thought I had bought mini Milky Way bars, but these are actually caramel apple mini Milky Way bars, and when I tried one I couldn’t believe how awful it was; I think this is the first time in my entire life I have had candy in my mouth and spit it out.  If you’re coming to my house and you look sketchy, guess what you’re getting ???

I have seen articles about giving out healthier candy, and other alternatives, but I’m not convinced that’s what these trick or treaters want, or even care about.  Though I have nothing against these kids, and I wish them no harm, I don’t feel compelled to make my offerings the one thing that won’t add high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavors to their sack of candy.   I’d love to give out apples, or homemade treats, but I know those would go right into the trash, so instead I’ll give out trash which will go right into their bellies.   I guess one person’s trick is another’s treat.