Punked by Costco

 

I had a plan for today’s post and perhaps I got what I deserved for waiting until the last minute, but it feels like I got punked by Costco. I was ready to roll with a post comparing two rotisserie chickens; Costco and Whole Foods Market. I invited some friends for dinner, and made charts and everything to record the results. I planned my trip for late afternoon so I’d grab the chicken last, then head straight to the nearby Whole Foods so neither would have the advantage of being fresher (at least from the store) and both would still be at least warm. My sides were ready and this would be an easy-peasy meal for a hot summer night with minimal work and hardly any clean-up. How does that saying go? (Wo)man plans, God laughs.

When I arrived at Costco the heat was nearly unbearable. The temperature gauge in my car read 99° and I had to force myself to make the short walk from the broiling parking lot to the beautifully cool store. Ahhh. Maybe I could just spend the night here, I mean they have those comfy looking couches, and clearly there’s plenty to eat. But I had invited guests, making shopping and leaving necessary. When I got to the meat department I wasn’t completely surprised to see the shelf devoid of chickens, but then I checked the rotisseries to see how soon the next batch would be ready, and there were no chickens. NO CHICKENS! Apparently their chicken delivery had failed to materialize (I’ve been there Costco, and it’s not pretty.)

No one but me seemed to be freaking out, and I managed to contain my many layered dismay. First, this left me chicken-less, and I’d planned the rest of the dinner around chicken. I must add that they were also out of raw whole chickens as well. Now I had to come up with a meal suitable for company, and one that would cook in time (remember I forestalled my shopping so the chickens would be at least a little hot). On the bright side this meant no second stop at Whole Foods. 

I am a planner, and I like my plans to work out, especially when it comes to dinner for company, and I was unprepared to make a good decision. Costco sells only HUGE packages of meat, and there would just be three of us, so I didn’t want to buy $50.00 worth of ribeyes, or even $30.00 worth of ribs. I saw some boneless short ribs, not too large a package, and reasonably priced. OK, I’ve been punked, but I can punt! I rushed home and got to work, on a meal that I can hardly recommend as particularly light, summery or even healthy. This was an emergency meal, that would only work if my friends arrived as reliably late as they usually do (they did).

I will tell you what I did, but I hardly measured anything, so no “recipe”.  And in my haste and frustration I completely forgot to take pictures, but let me assure you, it was all brown. And looked mostly like this without the rice:

• I took a half cup of soy sauce, a quarter cup of mirin, a tablespoon of toasted sesame oil, about 4 cloves of garlic (put through a garlic press) and 1 generous teaspoon of honey, put all that in a small pot, and simmered it while I got the ribs ready.
• Oven preheated to 325° I took some flour and tossed in some five spice powder—maybe a teaspoon. I mixed that up and used it to dredge the ribs.
• I took out my Dutch oven and put in enough oil to cover the bottom of the pan, got that good and hot, and browned the meat. Once the meat was browned I took it out of the pan and dumped the remaining flour (maybe 1/4 cup-ish) into the fat and cooked that a bit, then lowered the heat, stirred in the soy sauce mixture which wasn’t nearly enough liquid so I added a cup of chicken stock.
• Put the ribs back in the pot, covered it and put it in the oven for about one and a half hours. Another half hour would have been better.

The ribs were good, and almost as tender as I wanted them to be. They were not the best choice for a very hot evening, and my planned sides of potato salad and a tossed green salad would have better suited the chicken. All and all just feeling tired and punked by Costco, and myself (can you punk yourself?) and for the final insult of the evening, cleaning up after a meal that should have required little cleaning up, I broke my favorite platter. You can’t see it, but there is a long crack that runs from the giant chip almost to the bird. How gracefully do you cope with dinner plans that go off the rails at the last minute?