True Happiness

This week I got a flyer for something called the “True Happiness Hour”. I’m in, was my immediate reaction; I want true happiness, don’t you? The first meeting is November 15th. Can I wait until then to attain it? A lot will happen between now and November 15th; Halloween, my sister coming to visit, and election day to name a few. I will definitely be in the market for some true happiness. They’ve set the bar kind of high for this weekly hour of meditation though an asterisk at the bottom of the flyer indicates that happiness isn’t required. Whew.  

I used to work with a guy named Krebbs. He was a gloomy man. His smile (when he offered one) was wry and always a little sideways. I don’t think I ever saw him express any glimmer of happiness. Happiness didn’t seem to be an option for him, and what was worse, it didn’t seem to bother him. I wouldn’t have described him as un-happy, rather he was happiness deficient. 

Most people would love to find happiness, lasting happiness, even happily ever after. True happiness comes in fleeting moments and if we’re lucky we notice those moments while we’re experiencing them. We sink into them, but as soon as we try to hold on to the feeling it slips away. The thing is, happiness is something we need to work for, not in the way you earn something, more like something that requires practice and repetition. 

I am a naturally happy person. Happiness is my default setting and I am always thrown when unhappiness strikes me. I don’t know what to do with it or with myself. Unhappiness, when it arrives always blindsides me. I never see it coming until it’s too late. Smack! It hits me in the head, and I have to sit down, for a while. Unhappiness lodges like a Lego in the center of my chest. I have spent most of October with that Lego as my constant companion.

The True Happiness Hour is scheduled to meet at the very place I managed to get rid of that Lego. There is a beautiful church near me with many buildings and grounds like a small park. There are tombstones that date back to the 1700’s. I walked there one day last week, and like Goldilocks, tried a few different spots until I found one that was just right. I sat for a while in the shade, feeling the slight breeze, and tuned out the sounds of nearby I 95.  

As I sat quietly I managed to relax more than I had been able to in my own house. I breathed deeper, and better, and as I did that Lego slowly melted away. It wasn’t until I started my walk home I noticed its absence. Gently, I put my hand against the spot where it had been. I breathed in and waited to feel it again, but it wasn’t there anymore. 

There is no such thing as perfect and lasting happiness, if we are out there living life things are going to happen to knock us down, test us, and sooner or later my Lego will return. Until that next knockout I’ll be spending my Tuesday evenings at the True Happiness hour. I’ll keep you posted.