 I lost Cathy twice; the most recent time was about twenty years ago, and it still causes me immense sadness. I’m not sure what year it was; I know I was still living in New York, and it was Memorial Day weekend. I called her at her house on Fire Island on Saturday morning. “Carol?” […]  When I was in college in NYC I lived on Sullivan Street (yes the one Billy Joel sang about) and I was introduced to things like arancini, fresh and smoked mozzarella and prosciutto bread. This was years before EVOO was available in every supermarket in the USA. Having arancini available so easily meant I never […]  The flyers would go out an hour or two before the performance, but we always got a decent sized audience for each showcase the ALs put on. The ALs was what my siblings and I called our act; A for Alexander (my sisters’ last name) and L for my brother and me. Put that all […]
 You wake up bleary eyed, and can’t even function until you get to your favorite caffeine dispensary for that double shot americano, and the jolt it will provide. Ahhhh, that first sip, you can feel your vision sharpening almost as soon as it hits your tongue. Would it shock you to know that your friend […]
 Eats Shoots and Leaves has to be one of the best titled books ever (at least if you’re a grammar nerd like me). Lately I’ve been eating shoots, the kind that are so sweet and tasty this time of year, and are available at my local farmer’s market; pea shoots. If you haven’t had them, […] |
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Christy - Oh Nancy! I can so relate! I have a Cathy or two in my life. What went wrong? I guess we just grew apart. I’m a much different person than I was when I was younger. Some of those relationships needed to drift, others…I’m not so sure.
I’m attending my first high school reunion in a couple of weeks, part of me is wondering why, even thought I’ve spent $100 on tickets so my hubby and I can go. The other part of me is curious to see whether I’ll be bored to tears or if I’ll be glad I went. Hopping over from yeahwrite. https://awritersplaygroundblog.wordpress.com/
nrlowell@comcast.net - Thanks Christy. Even this morning, as if to mock me FB suggested Cathy as someone I might know…
Bobbie Hodges - Kind of ironic. Back in ’08, I emailed both you and Carol separately, but you never replied. I just felt that for whatever reason, you wanted everybody from the past out of your life. I figured if I’d done something to piss you off, you could’ve let me know. All I can do is guess that it was more about where you were at than anything with me. But maybe I’ll never know.
nrlowell@comcast.net - Bobbie, I admit I never thought about my impact on you. I apologize; you didn’t do anything to upset or piss me off. It all felt very complicated and more than I could manage…
Meg - The heartbreak in this piece is palpable — and one that many people, including myself, can relate to. The passage of time complicates things, too,when trying to decipher why a friendship ended. I’m so glad you shared this and hope that it was cathartic for you. Hugs to you.
nrlowell@comcast.net - Thanks Meg, in my old age (!) I have come to grips with the fact that there are things that we never fully get over. I refer to it as emotional half-life, like uranium, but a little more painful.
Erin Owen - It’s so difficult when friends we hold dear to our hearts do not reciprocate, for whatever reason. Sometimes there are legitimate, concrete reasons. But, what saddens me more is when we spin stories in our own minds that have no basis in fact, and what is really happening is the other person is just overwhelmed or caught up in her own grief or her own story or just simply horrible with email. Last year I made the conscious choice to allow myself to “let go” of those friends who I wished would reach out to me or ask me to do things. I have since focused my energies on those friends who reciprocate. I’m still sad about the other friends, but I can’t tie my energy up in them at this point in my life. Thanks for sharing, Nancy!
Nate - I have a high school friend like this too. We live 5 blocks away from each other in a city 5 hours from our mutual hometown. I’ve only seen him once here. There’s always a niggling, isn’t there? What did I do wrong?
nrlowell@comcast.net - Niggling indeed 🙂
Iasoupmama - Ghosting bites, no other way to say it.
Facebook keeps telling me I should friend my ex-husband. I don’t.
nrlowell@comcast.net - That too… my ex keeps showing up.
Lola Marguerita - It’s so common now there’s a new term for it “ghosting”. Sad to say I’ve been on both the giving and receiving end. And sometimes it’s better just to let it go.