 A year ago I embarked on something I called The Ugliness Project. Someone gave me a piece written by a young woman who was in terrible pain because she believed strongly in her own ugliness. In this moving essay she articulated every single feeling I’ve had about myself at one time or another, and though […]  Just the other day I was reminiscing with a friend about the department store restaurants that were ubiquitous in our youth. Almost every department store had at least one restaurant and some had a lunch counter as well. These were sit-down restaurants with real china, cloth napkins, and as a kid I always felt very […]
 The top of my Settlement Cookbook is imprinted with the phrase “The way to a man’s heart…” The full quote is ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ and is an old English proverb. I’m not sure how it happened, but all evidence to the contrary I stubbornly cling to this notion. […]
 I had been looking for a place to live, to start my life over (once again) and as soon as I walked into the little house I started to cry. I hoped the people showing it to me wouldn’t notice. I did my best to hide my tears, I bent my head, and went out […]
 There are just some food that is fun to make, fun because it’s easy to make, requires little to no measuring, and the outcome, the most important part is fun food. Recently I made ricotta cheese for the first time, and it was so good, so easy, and so much fun I’ve made it again, […] |
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Peggy Gilbey McMackin - Deep article Nancy, good job. Admittedly, this is a really difficult topic for me,it troubles me tremendously, especially surrounding young women. I’ve seen many physically beautiful young women really struggle. I’ve also seen many average girls appear even more beautiful just in their giving, kindnesses towards others and generosity. I hope your ugliness project has been a success, and based on your photograph, you look very pretty to me! Have a great day.
Erin Schaus Egbert - Such an incredible heart felt piece. Started my day with it. Thank you.
Jocelyn Craft Mathis - Lovely, Nancy. And so true for so many of us.
nrlowell@comcast.net - Thanks Jocelyn, yes I’d love to make a project of convincing people of their value and beauty.
Chloe Jeffreys - This was so heart-breaking, Nancy. You are so lovely to me, and yet I know that those words feel hollow when you feel so incredibly bad about yourself.
nrlowell@comcast.net - Chloe, thanks! Maybe I need a dragon tattoo of my own, even if it’s virtual not actual. I hear women with dragon tattoos can take on anything 🙂
Angie Walker - What a great project.
nrlowell@comcast.net - Thanks Angie, it was illustrative!
Janelle - The problem with mirrors is they don’t show the inside, and that’s where the real beauty lies! 🙂
nrlowell@comcast.net - Janelle, The trick is to find the right mirrors! Thanks for stopping by.
Prajakta - It is awful when even the innocense of 5 year old is marred by superficial beauty. I heard a 6 year old say she wants to go on a diet! To slim down. It is horrifying and no real solution except that you need to start believing in yourself. I had written something long back. Maybe you’ll like it – https://anarmchairperfectionist.wordpress.com/2014/09/20/socs-averageimperfection-is-beauty/
Stopping over from yeahwrite!
nrlowell@comcast.net - Prajakta, I couldn’t agree with you more!
Asha Rajan - We’re always most critical of ourselves, aren’t we? I love the positive note at the end though, that you’re working to see your own beauty. That’s a great lesson, indeed.
Liz - I have often looked back at old pictures of myself and wondered, “Why didn’t I see the beauty then that I see now?” After encountering this often enough, I started telling myself that maybe I could only see my own beauty in retrospect. This small thought has helped me be a bit more gentle with the person in the mirror. I also like to think of this line by ani difranco, “It took me too long to realize that I don’t take good pictures because I have the kind of beauty that moves.”
I hope that through your Ugliness Project you are able to find your beauty & that you will blieve in it as strongly as you have believed in your ugliness.
nrlowell@comcast.net - Liz,
Thanks, isn’t it funny about the old picture thing, trying to reconcile the younger me with the current me… I’m getting there, it seems to work like the half-life of radium.